The scorching heat beams from two suns penetrated the atmosphere and reflected on the flat and shiny head of the security guard in front of me.
“You know what, You can earn extra silver by acting as a mirror for these wonderful women whose make up is melting right this minute,” I said sheepishly.
The man did not take the joke well. I was once again moved back in line.
“You will never meet the officer,” he scowled, “for another 10 moons.”
The Ministry of Insurance for Accidental Magical Mishaps has been busy for the last three years. I have been here fifteen times in the last six months, and my house has been rebuilt over 15 times. Thanks to the loony wizard.
You see, something happened to this wizard, and everything went loony with him. The last thing he did before leaving this dragon-forsaken place was to curse it with rain. Not the sort of rain made up of hydrogen and oxygen, but random stuff.
Last time, it rained boots. Lots of boots. Before that, it rained tumblers, dragon skins, dogs, and cats. Literally dogs and cats. All the houses are damaged, one way or another. People still have to file a petition with the ministry. Following the petition, a gang of peculiar men would be sent to the house to examine the damages. Then they would send their observations to some unknown office. From the unknown office, a random wizard is notified, and he comes and repairs the damages in a jiffy.
I am here reluctantly waiting to meet the officers for another insurance claim. But the truth is, I am really not in need of any insurance. I can call any quack wizard to fix my house. It will be quicker and more effective, but neighbours will start wondering.
In fact I heard the rumours already. They want to know what job I do to afford to keep a pet fire breathing hen in our house. My mother is not aware of my jobs either. All she knows is that I do some remote work in the basement with a portable portal to other worlds. It is true that I work with the portal, but she does not have a clue how I make my money. Even tonight, I am going on a wild sales call.
“Mother, I am home,” I shout and enter my den, locking the door behind me.
Under the portable trunk, which can hold an inventory of over 500 tonnes of things, I stuff the latest goods. The latest goods are the boots.
The wizard’s curse has helped me amass humongous wealth.
The magical rain of weird stuff is taken by the palace men. But I collect the goods and shove them inside my portable trunk. And I hop into my portal and sell it to non magic folks in the other dimension at a place called Walmart. Pretty straight forward business.
Once it rained diamonds, man, I collected so many and sold them for a fortune. But their money is of no use here. I then had to buy gold and smuggle it into this world, and selling gold without the king’s seal is a tricky business.
But with boots, I have another plan. I am going to sell them and buy umbrellas. These fools would buy anything that would protect their heads from random objects landing on them.
The non magic world is quite today. They are celebrating something called the New Year. I have spoken to lots of dealers about these fantastic boots. They have promised plenty of sales this holiday season. As I was leaving the restaurant, I met an old man, and this meeting made me a pauper.
“Hello there, you seem to be barefoot. This is not good, you have to buy my boots,” I smiled.
He peered at me without flinching.
“Is that so?”
“Yes…yes”
“I will give you 50 % off.”
“Where do you make these wonderful boots?” He asked.
“They are from a foreign country,” I said, annoyed with his questions.
“Which country?”
“France,” I lied.
Usually no one asks me so many questions. This man was making me feel like a common thief.
“From Hiron you mean to say,” he coughed, and my insides gurgled. “How did you know, are you a wizard?”
“Yes, the very wizard who put this curse, on I am the great Brat Bard Banjo.”
I was silent.
Millions of thoughts ran through my mind. Am I going to prison? What if my mother comes to know about my illegal business.
“My curse, has been a blessing for you?” Bard Banjo asked.
“Yes, really cool stuff falls from the sky,” I said smiling yet nervous.
“Didn’t they find a counter curse to stop the rain,” he asked me blankly.
“No, they couldn’t. You are a legend,” I said, trying to cajole him.
“I will let you go if you will help me with a task,” he said bluntly.
Was he going to make stuff rain in this non magic world too? “What is the task?”
You have to kidnap a man.
“Who do you want me to kidnap?” I was shocked.
“The King, of course.”
“The King! You must be joking!”
“No, I am not, Next full moon, somehow mix a potion in his drink.”
“I don’t know how, but I will try”
“Do you know why I put a curse in the first place?” The wizard asked suddenly.
“No, there are several stories.”
“Do you want to know the reason?”
“Yes.”
“It was because of that princess”
“I knew there was a girl involved,” I smiled.
“Do you want to hear my story or not?” Brat Bard Banjo looked angry.
“Okay go ahead, I am listening.”
“I loved a girl dearly for many years, but she was the princess, and I was an ordinary hocus pocus man. She used to admire all my magic, “ Brat Bard Banjo started to narrate the story. “You know I even presented with Roses of Eternal Spell, the rarest rose in the universe. That rose fragrance can bring everything around her back to life. And my songs of love, but then something happened. I was only a wizard, and she was a princess. (Lot of Ego, by the way). She, till the last minute, never told me her intention. All of a sudden, I heard about her marriage.”
This was tragic, but I listened.
“I confronted her on a damned rainy day, and I asked her, “Why not me… am I not worthy?” She did not reply. She got on the horse with the stranger and rode away, and in that rage, I cursed. I cursed the rain,” he shouted.
That seemed intense. But I had to thank the princess. I won’t be rich without her. “Now, how may I help you?” I finally asked this silent man.
“All these years I pondered, and finally I perfected a powerful spell. But I need your help to perform it. You have to slip this potion to the king by next full moon. :
I was not comfortable with his proposition.
“I am going to reverse time for that rainy day. I am going to change things. No more curse rain.”
“What will I do?”
“Help me, and I will reward you.”
This seemed like a good deal, and I was honestly sick of visiting the insurance ministry. Finally we would have normal rain.
I used all the tricks up the sleeves to get access to the Kings Kitchen, and mix the potion he gave me. I barely escaped the guards.
After a week, the wizard asked me to come to the palace grounds by midnight, when it rained as usual. A week rolled by, and I was sleeping when I heard thunder rumbling in the distance. I became anxious about the thing that was about to fall from the sky, but it started to rain. Real rain. Sputtering sent splashing.. then I realised what was happening.. I opened my secret trap door and noticed all the gold was gone in the Trunk. Time had reversed. All of a sudden after years of raining,. Water started to kiss the parched earth. I stood there, watching the wizard and the girl argue. Poor wizard, how his heart might have broken on that day.
The princess waited and waited. But the other person did not come. The princess walked back into the castle and never looked back. The wizard, with tears in his eyes, walked straight towards me.
“So you came for your reward.”
“Yes.”
He handed me my fire breathing chicken and a bag of Gold.
“Hey this is my pet chicken”
Good night said the wizard and went away without answering me.
After a year I woke up as someone was knocking on the door.
It was the wizard. But now he was an old man. I had sold the gold, and made a fortune for myself.
“Yes, where is the chicken?” He asked.
“Uh… feast. ..”
“What feast?” Bard Banjo looked stunned.
The chicken went biserk after a week. He was blowing up everything. I had to once again go to the insurance. Finally my mother made a feast out of him.
Brat Bard Banjo went silent.
“I put a amnesia spell on the princess on that night. I made her forget me and that other person,” Brat Bard Banjo looked intently at me. “Didn’t you wonder what happened to the other person?”
“No” I was beginning to wonder now.
“Well it does not matter.”
“Hey Bard tell me,”
“You and your mother killed him and had a feast.”
Copyrighted Ronald Hadrian 2024.